January 2012
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December 2011
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my anxiety comes and goes in shifts as does my sadness. on the plus side it’s warm here. i think the horses here will be really therapeutic…
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In time of silver rain the butterflies lift silken wings to catch a rainbow cry and trees put forth new leaves to sing in joy beneath the sky.
27 hours later but we made it safely.
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It’s like my second chance at life- moving out and going to school for my social work degree. It’s worth the risk. It could lead to amazing things for me. Or, if it doesn’t work, I’ll be just as poor off as I am now. So, why not?
but man i’m so scared.
which literary character do you identify with and...
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What if I were to become time. Could I be hat moment you got your braces off? Could I witness that first perfect smile? Maybe I would be those few seconds your stomach flips when a boy makes you swoon. Why has it been impossible for me to write since I have become we? I have a theory. Writing is a lot like breathing. It’s natural and life giving but you mess it up as soon as you start...
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“”Fairyland? Oh, grow up Lily. Fairyland looks completely different.”
– The Doctor
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you know that feeling you get from choking back a sob? where you clench your jaw so that the tears don’t flow and your head begins to throb from the build up? that’s pretty much all i’ve been feeling for the past two days.
Momma don’t wait up for me I don’t think I’m coming home Anytime soon I got this thing I gotta do but I swear I’ll make it up to you...
so here’s the thing. using the word nervous would be an understatement. i’m petrified. i’ve never been good with change. i’ve never been able to deal with stress. i’ve been medicated for anxiety since i was seven years old, and i thought that i had things under control but i’ve been only fooling myself. things are out of control. i just…ugh.
“Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don’t kill ourselves. We are simply...”
– Sally Brampton, Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression (via kkbarlow)
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“It bothers me that no one has the patience to deal with someone who is just sad.”
– Emily Haines (via ticktockdeathclock)
“there’s a lot of time left in my life. any mistakes that i make. any bad...”
– a friend’s fb status
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i’m so full of fear.
the best way i can explain it to you…
do you know why they stopped throwing rice at weddings?
birds would eat the rice, and drink water, and their stomachs would explode and
they would slowly die. a very painful death.
that’s what it fels like.
i don’t know how to not feed on the fear.
it consumes me.
breathe in.
breathe out.
relax.
it’s okay. don’t stress.
focus.
breathe in.
breathe out.
anxiety anxiety anxiety go the fuck away…
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Anonymous asked: I know it's a little early, but have a many tentacled hug and a happy christmas. Been a rough year for you, but you've made it through :3
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It’s only the cycle It’s deafening though This age old recital is king of all sounds There is no release, free, we are silently numb A sole, lonely wave with the weight that’s yet to come
